Finding my connection within pregnancy

It was our boy’s birthday yesterday. Six. Wow. Six years since the moon was my midwife and we welcomed him into the world.

I often like to write on the birthdays of our children. They are like my own personal days of celebration. Little white flags that cheer my personal journey of parenthood. I don’t make any outside show for myself, just little inner shouts of joy and a bit of reflection of the trip so far. It’s been good. It is good. So Good.

Our boy’s birth though. His is a personal triumph. His was when I finally shook my pre-determined concepts of how it was suppose to be, and went a more inward, contemplative, meditative, Spiritually Aware Route. From the moment he was conceived, our boy was my teacher.

Six years and nine months ago, I was stressed, distressed, and overwhelmed. Our girls were five and six, just starting homeschooling, my husband was renovating our home and we had a small homesteading farm, my family was having problems too so I was on the phone to my parents, siblings and friends all the time. I was excited to be pregnant, but scared too. I kept thinking that surely all this would result in a miscarriage or some emergency.

5 years before our daughter had been born quickly at home and then rushed to the hospital... for no apparent reason except for being a bit early. I guess homebirths just weren’t the thing eleven years ago in Canada. Upon arrival they prodded and injected against our will, she then ended up in the ICU for 2 weeks. It was the worst 14 days of my life. I felt voiceless, and guideless. I couldn’t find the space to tap into the Source of wellbeing I had always known. The dark pit had me scared and overwhelmed. It was isolating. Our older daughter was only ten months (Irish twins as they say) So I went through the motions... aware only of my unawareness.

When I found out I was pregnant again those five years later, I wanted it different... and then I found myself snowed under in circumstance. Within a few months of teeter tottering I decided to rise above it all and trust in my dearest Source.

 I found a sense of trinity with me, my son, and Source Energy/God. Suddenly I could know all was well. When I fell into worrying  about how things were, I received a kick from our boy. When I was stressed and unfocused I got two kicks. Little reminders that it was the moment that mattered. That my imagination could be used for positive outcomes and that appreciation and awareness created magic. Together we connected and pondered life mysteries. We played, we laughed and I started to see the world through his sense of reality. It was beautifully exhilarating.

When I greeted our son early in the morning on July 8^th, there were so many things which could have been focused on.  I could have been scared or panicky, I could have wrapped my mind around organizing or worrying about our daughters who were a little freaked, or I could have doubted the wellness of everything and questioned everything that had gone before. But instead I’ll never forget the moment I saw him.

It was like greeting a good friend. I recognized him and he did me as well.

I shouted out “my boy, there’s my boy.”

And from his essence he seemed to exude the statement. “I told you all would be well.”

With the birth of our son, the concepts of Spiritually Aware Parenting were born.

Find Connection within yourself first, and then you can find incredible, extraordinary connections with your children. It is a cycle of love.

So often we all go about it the opposite way; worrying about our children which knocks us off axis and disconnects us from our instincts... preventing ourselves from sensing what our children really need.

I’m in the midst of fine-tuning my coaching packages as well as sorting out my SAP Summer Challenge and in doing so I found myself asking what drove me to do my pregnancy package. Funny how I should ask myself this so near the anniversary of my boy’s birth... for there was the answer in front of me.

Often life is chaotic and speeding all around us. The difference finding that connection brings is magical. I experienced it firsthand. But often it felt delusional. Often it felt silly to not just give in to the fear and reality, the upsets and stresses and feel tossed about on the sea of unknowingness.. If I had had someone who would have told me- Go for it. Trust the Connection-meditate on your breath, focus your thoughts, Connect to all you are. talk to your baby, relate to him. I wouldn’t have had so many moments of feeling unprepared or isolated. Even during his birth I swayed from fear to love and back again. The moon was my midwife only as it was the focus I shifted to as I looked at her out the window and surrendered. It’s in the trust and faith of wellbeing and love that creates more of the same and when we are enthralled by that Power of Divinity and Love... oh each experience is amplified by millions.

That’s why I do what I do. I love seeing parents feel that connection with their unborn child, I love hearing them sigh in relief of feeling the fear lift, even for enough time to seek a new perspective. I love people seeing their pregnancy as a transformation, not just for their growing baby, but for them; a time to define and fine tune themselves and focus their intentions. Life is a magical winding path, with adventure everywhere. Pregnancy is always proof of that.

So, I guess on this sixth birthday of our boy I need to thank him. He taught me so much and still does and he will forever be that little baby, giving me a little nudge telling me to trust and all is well.

Christina Fletcher's pregnancy book is available on her website
www.spirituallyawareparenting.com or through Amazon and other
online bookstores

The six year old philosopher

Its two days before he turns six. Am I allowed to take a moment? Sigh.

Six is such a big thing for me. It’s the space between little boy and boy. It’s when he’s suddenly expected to help a bit more, be a bit more thoughtful, more considerate. It’s when he graduates to full team member. There are benefits and definite drawbacks for the youngest of a family.

Lying in bed being put to sleep he asks the question that always sparks a new phase in my book. He’s been making the six transition in so many ways lately... but tonight he crossed over.

“Mom, I don’t get it. Who made the first person?”

Thank our pregnant kitty cat for teaching him the birds and the bees young. Farm life is always such a great source of information.

Not wanting to influence his sense of ancestry and knowing that he was probably closer to knowing the answer than “grown ups” I simply answered with a “There’s a lot of different ideas, what do you think?”

He paused thoughtfully watching his fish.

“I think God married someone and then people were made.” Another pause. “Nah, I think probably God made us, He can do anything.”

Now I’m going to interrupt here for a second. Our little (not so little) boy has an interesting concept of God. We’ve kept the concept of God general, without doctrine, allowing everyone to have their own relationship, their own ah-ha discovery. We’ve passed on that there is Universal, unseen power, and that it is Love. They know I have quick chats with the power and meditation is God time. But there’s not been many semantics. I want them to experience their own magical stories of deep understanding.

So, in keeping with that, I’ve found it interesting to hear our boy’s thoughts. From a young age he’s talked about God in passing. It’s become regular conversation to hear him say “Oh yeah, when I was with God I saw that... or went there... or did that.” He believes we come back after death, he likes to talk about what he’ll come back as. I know he’s been here before.

So, I was curious to hear his version of creation vs evolution.

I told him about different ideas of creation stories. Which he took in stride and then I told him Darwin’s theory.

He burst out laughing. “That’s silly.” He replied.

I suggested sometimes people resemble apes or monkeys.

“Only in a Monkey suit mom.”

Now I know, Creation vs Evolution etc... hot topics I’m sure. But this isn’t saying anything about my perspectives or even proofs or theories. This is my boy’s. Our six year old boy. Sigh. (another moment)

Don’t you find it interesting that the more magical story, the more loving story, the enlightened spiritual story is the one that makes sense to him? The scientific, matter of fact, in your face story- is just silly.

We live in strange times. My husband pulled up this youtube video last night about this underground city.... an extensive catacomb of underground apartments created thousands of years ago. Scientists and Archaeologists are baffled at how and why this sort of construction could have been designed and created all that time ago. The program was made by History.com and after describing the skill and miraculous structure they turned to the why. Their solution... some sort of Alien Invasion.

I’ve heard a lot about the theories of Aliens inspiring and creating things on earth lately. It seems to be the new default for things we can’t understand. We can’t have a spiritually inspired person, they must be possessed. We can’t have divine inspiration it must be from outer space. Our concepts of magic and wonder must be squished into a little box. One where things add up and make sense.

Do we always need outside data? Isn’t it a little exciting to look within our inner most hearts to hear truth?

I could have answered my boy’s question tonight with an answer. I could have chosen a system to believe and relayed it to him, forming his young mind to believe that I have all the answers. That I know the truth... when I don’t. I know what feels right to me, but it might not feel right to him. So, he was asked to answer first. It felt good. I told him it felt good.

Not silly at all. Just a little bit lovely, a little bit magical... and a little bit like a six year old growing up.